5 Ways to Solve Problems at Work

Someone stole my cab! Here's the story: A few weeks ago I was in San Antonio speaking at a dinner meeting and was booked for a FOX TV segment the following morning early at 7:00 am. Not only was it morning rush hour but it was raining and I planned on taking a cab. I called for a taxi from my hotel room and when I got down to the hotel lobby someone rushed past me and stole my cab! Okay so I freaked out a bit (or like I tell you, I had an "exaggerated response"). I called another cab and luckily got a driver who took me the back roads to the TV station.

In our personal lives we are often used to solving problems on our own - or we can solve them easily with an informal network. But at work, problem solving often requires collaboration. A Japanese proverb states, "None of us are as smart as all of us." People in the Smart Zone embrace the fact that a work team has the capability to solve problems and be as smart as all of us.

Problems in the work place come in all shapes and sizes. There is no magic formula for solving every problem we encounter. Adapting our problem solving process to fit the problem at hand requires both cognitive and emotional skills. Here are 5 tips for problem solving in the Smart Zone:

1. A Point on Perception. Is there really a problem and if so, is it solvable? For example, if your problem is that the sky is blue, then you will need to rethink the problem. Jochen Zeitz who is CEO of the shoemaker Puma says, "Design usually starts with 'There is no way' and then we say, 'Okay, how can we make this work?'"



2. Define the Problem in a One-Sentence Statement. This sounds easy but is really quite difficult. By having a well-defined problem it makes the solved state more measurable. Charles Kettering, co-holder of more than 140 patents and inventor of such things as the spark plug, leaded gasoline and Freon for refrigerators and air conditioners, once said, "A problem well stated is a problem half solved."



3. Focus on the Solved State. Ask yourself and your team these questions:
   a. How will we know when the problem has been solved?
   b. What does the solved state look and feel like?
   c. What is tangible evidence that the problem is solved?
   Click here for an article I wrote recently about problem solving between a staff and board of directors.



4. Use a System That Works for Your Group. There are several problem solving techniques such as brainstorming, root cause analysis, the drill down technique, etc. The appreciation technique is a powerful way to extract the maximum amount of information from a fact. First you start with a fact and then ask the question, "So what?"
   
   Example: Our warehouse does not have the required part in stock.
   So what?
   The part will need to be ordered from a vendor.
   So what?
   It will take more time to get the needed part.
   So what?
   Our customer will need to be notified of the delay.
   So...
   
   In the future, we need a process for the warehouse to order parts in advance so parts will not be out of stock when needed.
   
   While the same conclusion still could have been determined without a formal technique it still provides a framework for extracting information quickly and reliably.



5. Develop an Accountability Plan. Many problem solving sessions end when the solution is determined. But wait! Next, assign specific action items to people with a time frame for completion. Design a way to hold those responsible for the solution accountable for the results.

Just for fun, watch this video from the show Modern Family on how Cameron and Mitchell collaborated on solving a problem. Modern Family makes me laugh and I thought you just might too.

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How Not to be a Drama Queen or King

Every office usually has one: a Drama Queen or King. He or she can get everyone stirred up at the simplest of events and is successful at creating drama. In my private practice we call this "Mental Theater." Some people confuse Drama Queens/Kings with Gossips but they aren't the same. (Click here to read my recent quotes in CNN Living about gossiping on the job).

For example, have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and he/she doesn't know it? Or have you ever felt convinced your boss doesn't like you even though there is no concrete evidence? This is mental theater. It's when we create drama in our heads so that it seems an event actually happened. Here are examples of destructive forms of mental theater:

• In a work environment, a manager may perceive that his boss is upset with him because he doesn't make eye contact with him while they are talking. So the manager proceeds to relate to his boss as if there really is a disagreement.
• An assistant may believe that a co-worker who is whispering is talking about her behind her back. The assistant then becomes hostile as if there has been a breach of trust.
• A husband may believe that his wife is having an affair because she is too friendly with the attractive gentleman next door. He then begins to treat her as if she's been unfaithful.

When we only have part of the story, we tend to fill in other parts. It's like putting a puzzle together and when you get stumped you pick up the box to see the picture so you can figure out where the pieces go. But what if you only have half the picture? It's like having half the story.

Ask yourself these 4 questions to work in the Smart Zone and course correct negative drama that can get out of hand.

1. Is my thinking based on fact?


2. Does my thinking help me achieve my goal?


3. Does my thinking help me feel the way I want to feel?


4. How can I change my mental theater to create a win-win situation?

When I asked my Facebook friends how not to be a Drama Queen or King, Deidra Roe said, "if you truly want to be heard, then stop throwing a temper tantrum and be a civilized, calm adult because no one hears a word you say when you are screaming and ranting."

Keep in mind that YOU are in charge of your own mental theater. When you have only part of a story resist the urge to fill in the blanks. Or use mental theater to your advantage by visualizing your success and filling in the blanks with a positive outcome. Chapter 8 of my book, Working in the Smart Zone, expands on this topic if you would like to learn more.

If you'd like to hear me discuss staying in the Smart Zone and mental theater, listen to the podcast where I was interviewed by Jason Hartman on his Creating Wealth Show.

Speaking of drama, my last electronic newsletter called "Are You Worried about Things You Can't Control?" had a technical glitch in the code and wasn't readable for many of you. Thanks to those of you who notified me! If you'd like to read it I've posted it to my blog.

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Are You Worried about Things You Can't Control?

I recently took an informal survey on my Facebook Page and asked what one thing causes my friends the most stress. Guess what the most the most common response was? "Things I can't control."

As I am still recovering from gall bladder surgery and trying to get back to a regular schedule, I'm reminded of what I can't control. A gall bladder attack and subsequent surgery to remove it a few days later was not on my agenda for the month. Worrying about my situation wouldn't have done me any good - but I still managed to worry about all the appointments I would need to reschedule and how I would juggle with kids while I was recovering.

The Swedish proverb is true that worry gives a small thing a big shadow. If you saw me on FOX 4 Good Day last year then you heard me say that "worry is the misuse of imagination." Click here to watch my interview on FOX.

Anxiety is a significant problem for 13% of adults in any given year. Most people tend to act fine, even though they don't "feel" fine, contributing even more to feelings of worry.

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. 40% of people report worrying more now than they did 5 years ago. Most of the time it is for general life events like a final exam (click here for our tips on handling test anxiety), finances after losing a job, a job interview or a teenage child who is 10 minutes late past curfew. When unrealistic, persistent anxiety is a part of everyday life, then it is possible that generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) may be present. GAD affects 3-4% of the population and can be treated with psychotherapy.

Use these Smart Moves to handle things you can't control:

• Know the difference between good and bad worry. If you live in a high crime area it's good to worry about being out alone at night. Living in fear that someone with a rare disease will breathe or cough in your face is an unrealistic worry.
  
• Focus on what you can control like how many times you smile today, how honest you are, the amount of effort you put into your work, how well you listen, etc. This is an interesting list of 50 things you can control right now. Remember this the next time you are at the airport and your flight is delayed! You can control how you react to this situation.
  
• Avoid what-iffing about situations. Stay in the here-and-now.
  Ask yourself, "Is there evidence that I need to worry?" Ask yourself: "Am I trying to control things out of my control?" "On my deathbed will I be glad I worried about this?" "Will this matter to me next year, next month or next week?"


• Use worry to your advantage. If you've been goofing off and not preparing well for an upcoming project then worry can help you spring into action. But don't let worry be a substitute for taking action.
  
• Seek treatment from a professional. Treatment doesn't always mean medication is necessary. If there are significant physiological symptoms and impairment in daily functioning, medication prescribed by a physician with specialized knowledge in the treatment of anxiety can give greater relief quicker than when medication is not used. More importantly, medication can provide the kind of relief and stabilize the anxiety so other forms of treatment are effective long-term. Click here to read my blog post on how to find a good psychologist or psychiatrist and also my handout on how to find a therapist outside of the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

Most anxiety is obsessive and repetitive. Telling someone not to worry further encourages that person to keep the worry to him or herself. It's important to learn how to extinguish the anxiety so daily satisfaction can be increased and you can stay in the Smart Zone.

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Who is Holding You Accountable?

Sometimes I get frustrated with my friend Julie. She makes it look so easy to have so much stamina. She is always finding ways that we can work more efficiently, get our exercise in each day, and have cherished valuable time with our kids. She has backed off me a bit as I recover from gall bladder surgery last week. But I know just as soon as I am able she will show up on my door step for us to walk the dogs just like always.

We all need people to hold us accountable. Sales goals, budgets, contracts and deadlines are just like my friend Julie (and my gall bladder) - they hold us accountable for promises we've made. People in the Smart Zone create accountability by inspiring others to accept responsibility for their actions.

Accountability is really a call from your conscience. It's the voice that tells you to do the best you can and to hold others responsible for being their best selves. People lacking accountability are those who are "along for the ride" floating through life, blaming others for their failures and lacking integrity in relationships.

To stay in the Smart Zone remain accountable to yourself first and use the following Smart Moves to create accountability:

• Don't confuse obedience with accountability. When people obey they are merely doing work to avoid getting punished - possibly at the expense of other people, morale or customer goodwill. Just doing what you are told is not accountability. You must take ownership of your successes and failures to be accountable.
• Discomfort and remorse are important teachers. When someone fails to perform don't minimize the remorse they feel for messing up. Let them experience the emotions so you don't take away their learning. But remember that people don't learn when they feel threatened - so tread lightly.
• Lead by example. I am guilty of telling my staff to keep our administrative area clutter free and then letting my desk pile up with stuff. If I want my staff to be more accountable, I must be more accountable.
• "Deadlines make people do dumb things," says über-blogger Seth Godin. Deadlines are made to hold people accountable but many people spend more time explaining why they missed a deadline. With 2 weeks to meet a deadline some people only care about the last 15 minutes.
• Accountability and responsibility are first cousins. Make and keep your promises. If you find yourself getting off track stop and check yourself. Be honest with yourself and be honest enough to hold others on your team to their personal best.
• Find an accountability partner. This must NOT be a person that you live with, sleep with or have given birth to. Use your own self awareness to admit weak areas in your life that an accountability partner can help with. Click here to watch my explanation of self awareness.

Accountability comes from within and helps you catch problems early on so that you can take ownership of responding to them. Stop yourself the next time you have the urge to say, "That's not MY job." Hold yourself and others accountable so that everyone will perform at their personal best and work in the Smart Zone.

By the way, click on this questionnaire to see if you have gall bladder symptoms. I certainly could have benefitted from this information before spending a night in the ER last week. I'm pretty tough and have been told I have a high tolerance for pain. Well, gall bladder pain is like no other. Talk about accountability!

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How to Empty Your Bucket & Handle Stress

I actually felt sorry for the person in the waiting room with me at the Veterinarian's office last week. She was so impatient and I could tell her blood was boiling. The Vet was behind in his schedule and there were a lot of people and their pets piling up in the waiting room. She kept sighing loudly for all of us to hear, mumbling under her breath and getting impatient with her dog. She was causing a small spectacle and the psychologist in me wanted to talk her through it. I know even our Golden Retriever Sophie could feel that this lady was a bit uptight. She may have been having pre-summer burnout which I talked about in this FOX 4 TV segment last week. Click here to watch it.

We all have days when our tolerance level is lower and we feel stress sooner. For this woman, it wasn't about the Vet being slow or the waiting room being too full. It was about the other stressors in her life. She was having what I call an "exaggerated response" to waiting for her turn.

I believe everyone has a bucket inside of them. When something causes stress, frustrates you, makes you angry or requires a lot of attention and energy the bucket starts to fill. When your bucket fills completely you will have an exaggerated response causing you to overreact to the simplest of stressors. Some people call it "wigging out," "losing it," and "going postal." You may be getting a 10 minute oil change and it takes longer than 10 minutes and you "lose it" when normally this delay wouldn't be a big deal. Click here to watch my video explanation of your bucket.

A few things that tend to fill my bucket are: new technology in my business (I recently converted to a Mac), packing for a vacation with my 3 boys and folding laundry.

Things that can fill your bucket are:

• A sick child
• Remodeling your home
• A work deadline
• Trying to lose weight
• A long commute to work
• Difficult spouse
• Difficult coworkers or boss
• Financial stress
• Job loss (click here for tips on how to keep a job loss from hurting your marriage)
• Sibling rivalry
• Learning a new skill
• Going back to school

Ways to empty your bucket are:

• Getting enough sleep
• Exercise
• Spending quality time with friends
• Spending quality time with family
• Church involvement
• Volunteering in the community
• Hobbies
• Reading
• Staying organized
• Meditation

Be careful not to choose ways to empty your bucket with activities that cause it to fill back up and cause even more stress. Sarah Ferguson just attempted to empty her bucket in a way that caused it to refill. Some poor choices for emptying your bucket are:

• Marital affair
• Alcohol abuse
• Substance abuse (illegal and prescription)
• Smoking
• Gambling
• Gossip
• Overeating
• Antisocial activities like stealing, lying, behaving impulsively
• Withdrawing from social activities and groups
• Borrowing money and not repaying it

To stay in the Smart Zone, anticipate what will fill your bucket so you can get ahead of it. I build in training time when I add new technology to my business to help minimize my stress. When traveling I build in an extra day to pack to avoid being up until 2:00 a.m. the night before. And when you feel an exaggerated response coming on instead of saying, "I'm so stressed out. I can't handle this," say, "I need to find a way to empty my bucket." I know that everyone in your life, including your pets, will appreciate it.

What Not to Put in an Email or Social Media

I email A LOT and so I realize how easy it is to put things in writing that you should really say in person. A few weeks ago I blogged about how Facebook can make you sick and how it's important to communicate face-to-face with people.

Recently a reporter from the Los Angeles Times interviewed me about sharing bad news electronically. Specifically news about one's health. Many of you may be familiar with Caring Bridge which is a free blog service offered to people facing serious illness. It allows families to share health updates and needs with people authorized to receive the updates. I recently followed one of my friends through her Cancer treatments by reading her Caring Bridge updates.

Proceed with caution when communicating certain information using online forums and email. Use these Smart Moves when emailing, Facebooking, Twittering or blogging to keep you in the Smart Zone:

• You can't hear your tone of voice in an email. I've received emails where I thought the person was mad at me to later find out that wasn't the case at all. Words are only 7% of communication with your voice inflection and body language making up the remaining 93%. Keep in mind that emails can be misinterpreted because words are only a small part of communication.
• You can't take back what you put in writing. Once it hits Facebook or Twitter it becomes part of a permanent history. Unless you are tech savvy and know how to retract an email, which normally doesn't work, once you send one it's a done deal. Better yet, avoid the "Reply All" option. I've heard tons of "Reply All" horror stories.
• "I could get into trouble by telling you this," is one of the 10 things you should never say in an email according to Roger Matus' Death by Email blog. Click here for the 10 Things Never to Put in an Email.
• Use airport caution. Anything you could get into trouble saying at the airport - like "I feel like blowing this place up" - you shouldn't say via online forums. Any teasing that could be interpreted as potential terrorism should be off limits.
• TMI "Too Much Information." Emails or Facebook updates like, "I've been throwing up all night" or "I'm worried about so-in-so's marriage" fall into this category. Also, be weary of emailing about other people's health. Information about another person's medical issues, medication and treatments should be confidential. You can share medical information about yourself but it's inappropriate to share it about others.
• Condolences should be communicated by phone, handwritten note or in person.
• Resist the urge to be cyberdaring. Most people are cyberdaring. Haven't we all emailed a message that we would be too timid to say in person? With social media and emails we become reckless with our comments. I've even witnessed couples having arguments through their Facebook comments. And I've worked with people who have been fired for information they sent by email.

Remember that your relationships, personal and professional, are worth the little extra it would take to personally communicate. That will keep you in the Smart Zone.

Workplace Bullying: What You Need to Know

Even as a psychologist who has heard it all in 20 years practicing, there are times when I hear things that really, really bother me. If you live in the Dallas area you may have heard the tragic story of 9 year old Montana Lance who committed suicide at his elementary school in January as a result of bullying. Last week I was invited to the FOX 4 TV Studios to be the online chat expert for viewers regarding this incident. (Click here to watch). Viewers were able to chat live with me online after watching a segment with Montana's parents who are taking a stand to raise awareness and promote Anti-Bullying day.

When we hear of bullying we tend to think of children at school. But it's no less common in the workplace and a topic worthy of much more discussion. A recent study reported 1 in 6 U.S. employees have experienced workplace bullying. Understand the signs and symptoms of workplace bullying to keep your organization in the Smart Zone.

Workplace bullying is defined as repeated, unreasonable actions of individuals (or a group) directed towards an employee (or group of employees) which is intended to intimidate and create a risk to the health and safety of the employee(s).

Factors that increase the risk of bullying are:

• Significant organizational change
• Worker characteristics such as generational/life stage differences
• Staff shortages
• Role ambiguity
• High rate of work intensity

I bet several of these risk factors sound familiar - especially in today's work environment. Bullies do not run good organizations. Workplace bullying leads to high staff turnover and sick leave and low morale and productivity. A bullied environment keeps employees from doing their best work and breaks down trust within the organization. Just for fun, watch this clip in The Devil Wears Prada to see a bully in action.

Here are 2 informative articles from BNET regarding workplace bullying:

Nipping Workplace Bullying in the Bud

Understanding the Characteristics of Workplace Bullying