5 Surprises About AD/HD in the Workplace

Do any of these statements apply to you?

• "I know what I want to say but I can't get the words out."
• "I have trouble getting the little things done each day."
• "I get really frustrated when I have to wait in line." 
• "People accuse me of lying but I'm don't lie." 
• "Crowds and noisy places bug me." 
• "My teachers didn't like me in school." 

The above statements are what adults I have diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) have said to me as I interviewed them during my evaluation. I was recently interviewed by D Magazine for an article called "AD/HD in the Workplace."

Approximately 5% of the adult population is estimated to have AD/HD. It wasn't long ago that AD/HD was seen as a childhood disorder where symptoms were thought to disappear with the onset of puberty. Clear scientific evidence shows that AD/HD continues into adulthood. While most adults were diagnosed as children, there are many adults who are undiagnosed.

Symptoms of AD/HD that you probably already know are:

• Difficulty concentrating and paying attention to details.
• Trouble sitting still for long periods of time.
• Short fuse.
• Putting things off.
• Tardiness.
• Forgetfulness in daily activities.
• Getting criticized for interrupting people.
• Being disorganized and having a messy car, home or office.
• Starting projects without thinking through the steps.
• Failing to finish tasks.
• Click here for a longer checklist.

Adults with AD/HD are more likely to:

• Buy on impulse and have trouble saving money.
• Receive speeding tickets.
• Be involved in car crashes where they are at fault.
• Smoke and/or use drugs.
• Exhibit road rage and aggressive driving when angered.
• Get fired or quit a job out of boredom.
• Be disciplined on the job by a manager or supervisor.
• Have higher marital dissatisfaction although not a higher divorce rate.

Here are 5 surprises about AD/HD:

1. AD/HD does exist and is not a conspiracy by scientists to medicate people. It is a real medical condition that is biologically based.
2. AD/HD is not simply a lack of willpower.
3. Bad parenting does not cause AD/HD. However, studies show a genetic predisposition for AD/HD within families.
4. Adults with AD/HD are not stupid or lazy. Recent studies reveal that people with AD/HD actually tend to have above average intelligence but it does not show because of the AD/HD.
5. AD/HD can be treated without medication. New research indicates that you can improve brain functioning with direct, deliberate practice. This is called neuroplasticity. Relaxation, concentration and other self management exercises can improve the ability to sustain attention in some people.

Before starting any medication you should be properly diagnosed. Anxiety, depression or learning disabilities can be disguised as AD/HD. In my clinical practice I use the Quotient/ADHD System to assess for AD/HD in children, adolescents and adults.

To stay in the Smart Zone learn more about AD/HD. If you think you might have it, get tested by a qualified professional. It could help you refocus your career and personal life.

All assessments for AD/HD should be comprehensive and also assess for emotional factors and the influence of present stressors. Your quality of life, your effectiveness at work and home, and your relationships can benefit from knowing if you truly have the disorder.

Why You Should Leave Work on Time Today

I know people who are addicted to anxiety who work themselves into a frenzy- and not just because I'm a psychologist. You probably know people like this, too. They are chronic multi-taskers, over-committers, Blackberry-reading, Energizer bunny types who work long hours. While they may be exciting to work with, they are also easily agitated and prone to meltdowns. Recently I was interviewed for a Channel CW33 TV segment on anxiety addiction. Click here to watch it.

Like any addiction, the anxiety/frenzied addicted person feels they "need" to feel anxious and busy even though they don't "like" the feeling. If you recognize this in yourself or you know someone who is like this, you will especially like this newsletter because it will help you become more effective. Believe me when I say that people in the Smart Zone are able to manage their emotions and leave work on time.

Keep in mind these Smart Moves to help you be more effective and leave work on time today:

Are you tired by 3:00 in the afternoon? Eat a late afternoon snack that is low fat and high in protein like nuts, yogurt or a small tuna sandwich. A high protein snack stimulates the brain's neurotransmitters that promote energy and alertness.

Are you just waking up by 3:00 in the afternoon? Eat a late afternoon snack that is high in carbs but low in fat and protein - like a granola bar, fresh fruit or a bagel. This type of snack jump-starts the amino acid in the brain that promotes a relaxation response.

Master the ability to end conversations that are not productive: If your day includes having people come by your office to shoot the bull and at the end of the day you wonder where the time went, learn to monitor your downtime at work. When you have to make a phone call to someone who could keep you on the phone too long, say up front, "I only have a minute but I wanted to get back to you before this afternoon." That sets the expectation that the call will be short.

Devote Your Energy to the Task at Hand:  Make a point of focusing on one thing at a time. Multi-tasking moves us out of the flow. Don't have an important conversation with a coworker while making copies at the copy machine. Put away your Blackberry while working on a task. Turn the volume down on your computer so you don't hear your emails pinging. Immerse yourself in whatever you are doing.

Look at but don't answer email in the morning:  I can easily use up a lot of time and energy early in the morning by getting lost in my email without realizing that I'm negatively setting the pace of the day. Review emails in the morning but get in the habit of setting aside a dedicated block of time to respond. Stick to the schedule and you will avoid getting lost in email adventures that misuse your energy and attention.

Just for fun, watch this short video on why you should leave work on time today.

How to Empty Your Bucket & Handle Stress

I actually felt sorry for the person in the waiting room with me at the Veterinarian's office last week. She was so impatient and I could tell her blood was boiling. The Vet was behind in his schedule and there were a lot of people and their pets piling up in the waiting room. She kept sighing loudly for all of us to hear, mumbling under her breath and getting impatient with her dog. She was causing a small spectacle and the psychologist in me wanted to talk her through it. I know even our Golden Retriever Sophie could feel that this lady was a bit uptight. She may have been having pre-summer burnout which I talked about in this FOX 4 TV segment last week. Click here to watch it.

We all have days when our tolerance level is lower and we feel stress sooner. For this woman, it wasn't about the Vet being slow or the waiting room being too full. It was about the other stressors in her life. She was having what I call an "exaggerated response" to waiting for her turn.

I believe everyone has a bucket inside of them. When something causes stress, frustrates you, makes you angry or requires a lot of attention and energy the bucket starts to fill. When your bucket fills completely you will have an exaggerated response causing you to overreact to the simplest of stressors. Some people call it "wigging out," "losing it," and "going postal." You may be getting a 10 minute oil change and it takes longer than 10 minutes and you "lose it" when normally this delay wouldn't be a big deal. Click here to watch my video explanation of your bucket.

A few things that tend to fill my bucket are: new technology in my business (I recently converted to a Mac), packing for a vacation with my 3 boys and folding laundry.

Things that can fill your bucket are:

• A sick child
• Remodeling your home
• A work deadline
• Trying to lose weight
• A long commute to work
• Difficult spouse
• Difficult coworkers or boss
• Financial stress
• Job loss (click here for tips on how to keep a job loss from hurting your marriage)
• Sibling rivalry
• Learning a new skill
• Going back to school

Ways to empty your bucket are:

• Getting enough sleep
• Exercise
• Spending quality time with friends
• Spending quality time with family
• Church involvement
• Volunteering in the community
• Hobbies
• Reading
• Staying organized
• Meditation

Be careful not to choose ways to empty your bucket with activities that cause it to fill back up and cause even more stress. Sarah Ferguson just attempted to empty her bucket in a way that caused it to refill. Some poor choices for emptying your bucket are:

• Marital affair
• Alcohol abuse
• Substance abuse (illegal and prescription)
• Smoking
• Gambling
• Gossip
• Overeating
• Antisocial activities like stealing, lying, behaving impulsively
• Withdrawing from social activities and groups
• Borrowing money and not repaying it

To stay in the Smart Zone, anticipate what will fill your bucket so you can get ahead of it. I build in training time when I add new technology to my business to help minimize my stress. When traveling I build in an extra day to pack to avoid being up until 2:00 a.m. the night before. And when you feel an exaggerated response coming on instead of saying, "I'm so stressed out. I can't handle this," say, "I need to find a way to empty my bucket." I know that everyone in your life, including your pets, will appreciate it.

Stress and Taxes: How to Make April 15th Less Stressful

I recently finished my 2009 taxes and celebrated with friends by going to the Taylor Swift concert in Dallas. I know I'm not the typical demographic she appeals to - believe me, there were plenty of screaming teens there to remind me. But it was fun to blow off some steam and laugh with friends after finishing my taxes. Whew!

The American Psychological Association reports that 75% of Americans cite money as a significant point of stress. Tax time increases our focus on money and consequently, increases our stress. If your family has experienced unemployment recently then you are experiencing even more stress. Click here to read what I have to say about your spouse losing a job in eFinancialCareers.


To stay in the Smart Zone this tax season use these 9 Smart Moves to avoid stress and sustain your sanity during tax time.

1. Don't avoid it. Paying your taxes isn't something most people enjoy - but let's face it - it's unavoidable. Avoiding it and procrastinating will only magnify your stress and cost you more in the long run with penalties.
2. Avoid the "money fight" with your spouse. In many relationships there is a "saver" and a "spender." For couples who fight over money tax time raises the importance of money and fights can escalate. Money fights may really be rooted in the fight for power. In the long term, it's important to determine the true source of your money fights - you may need the help of a financial counselor or therapist. A job loss can make things worse (click here to watch my TV appearance on FOX where I discuss this).
3. Don't take it out on your accountant or the UPS guy. Have you ever seen someone losing it because the UPS guy didn't bring what they were expecting? Your body doesn't know the difference between work stress, home stress and personal stress. When we have too much stress our hormones kick in causing a small hassle to suddenly become huge - and we have an "exaggerated response" (which some call "freaking out, going ballistic, losing it"). Your tax responsibility is not your accountant's fault - he/she is only the messenger. Learn to recognize when your stress level is getting high and eliminate it by reading a book, exercising, surfing the internet, getting organized or eating lunch with a friend.
4. Use this time to commit to keeping better financial records. I tell people that the way we think affects the way we act affects the way we feel. You can think yourself into feeling defeated. So choose instead to think yourself into moving forward, managing your money and keeping good records in the future. Don't wait until you feel a certain way to act a certain way. Make it happen now.
5. Keep it simple. Take baby steps. If your tax situation is complicated break it down into small steps and do a little each night or over a few weeks. Don't cram it all into 2 days.
6. Have some fun. Put on some relaxing music, sit outside or light some candles. You don't have to be holed up in a dungeon with a scowl on your face to do your taxes. However, I would recommend waiting on a glass of wine until after you've finished.
7. Expect things to work out well. Did you know that worrying about failing increases the likelihood of failure? Worrying about making a mistake or not doing your taxes correctly will only make things worse.
8. Reward yourself when the taxes are complete. Go out to eat, see a funny movie, get ice cream or take a long walk with the dog. Take a break from email, news coverage and gossip to put yourself in a positive mood and to feel like you are moving forward with an optimistic attitude.
9. Hire a pro. If your tax situation is complicated by all means hire someone to help you. This will cost you less in the long run and minimize your stress.
   

SUCCESS Magazine Article, "How to Get More Done"

When Sandra Bienkowski, Editor for SUCCESS Magazine, called me a few weeks ago and asked me how to get more done while keeping stress in check I was excited to share my tips with her.

Click here to read my tips in her article in the upcoming November issue.

I enjoy reading SUCCESS Magazine because it is full of the kind of information that High Achievers want to know. The articles always provide a unique window into the lives, practices and philosophies of today’s greatest achievers—top CEOs, revolutionary entrepreneurs and other extraordinary leaders. One article I really enjoyed recently was about Craig Newmark - the Craig of Craigslist.org. Craig's business model is that they can do good in business by doing good for people. He is definitely in the Smart Zone!

Go out and grab the November issue of SUCCESS Magazine if you have a chance!

Why I Am on Facebook

I was resistant. How do I have time to get on that site and isn't that for kids and college students? Then we went on vacation this summer and we were watching our friends check their Facebook pages and I got curious. They didn't fit the profile I had drummed up in my head as the type of people who would be social networking. As we talked about it, they set up a page for me in what seemed like just a few seconds. Soon I had a profile picture, was listing my favorite books and began searching for people I was curious to find. I'm hooked. I am the face of Facebook, or as some call it, FB.

This is my current profile picture. My 13 year old son took it while we were in the car at the carpool line.

Social networking used to mean going to Chamber of Commerce meetings and then it got real fancy with targeted opportunities like organized weekly networking groups. With online social networking, now you can stay in your PJs and network. I don't even have to do my hair! There are currently 39,911,920 people active on FB. When I looked to see how many people in the U.S. ages 35 and up were on FB, I found out there are 9,823,660. And I'm one of them!

Here is how being on Facebook and social networking keeps you in the Smart Zone.

• Stress Management: I believe everyone has a bucket inside of them that gets full when they feel aggravated or frustrated. We need things in our lives that empty our bucket so it doesn't get full. When it gets full, we have what I call an exaggerated response. While I don't always have my FB up throughout the day, I do get on it sometimes between patients, at the end of the day, and when I am hanging out in the airport waiting for my flight. It empties my bucket and I enjoy some of what my FB friends post. Here is a video that came recently from one of my friends.


• Relationships Build Business: Many of the speakers I present with and many of those who hire me to speak are people that I really enjoy getting to know. There is an excitement about the speaking business and there are so many things we may have in common. A recent article in Fast Company shows how those who use the social networking site, LinkedIn, make more money. While I never intend for my FB page to be an advertisement, it is only natural that there are opportunities that will come your way.


• Social Networking supports the Smart Zone Secret: The Smart Zone Secret is to get out of your head and put the focus on someone else. I believe we all have the tendency to take ourselves too seriously. Recently I had a bad fall on an icy day. (What is a Florida girl doing in Texas anyway?) The fall ended up being serious enough that I got a few staples in my head. One of my best friends growing up, Don, is now a professor at Oregon State University. He and I stay in touch on FB and he called me "metal head." Only Don can get away with that. Don knows how to remind me to not take myself too seriously. He knows the Smart Zone Secret.

One caveat. Sometimes FB can fill your stress bucket. Using it during productive work hours can waste time and is unfair to your employer. Or if you stay up until the wee hours of the morning it can steal needed sleep time. This is an issue with all of us as we have the ability to work 24/7.

Keeping the above caveat in mind, I'd love to be your FB friend! So please send me a friend request.

The Explanation of Addiction

In the corporate world and in our our clinical practice, we find ourselves being told that someone has an "addictive personality". I know it is true and we can spot it as we get to know the players. What we find is that people don't always know what they mean when they say "Addiction" and they use the term loosely even when someone, in my opinion, is just "spirited."

Addiction is often brought on by stress in those people who have a genetic defect in a defined area of the brain. Addictions include drugs, alcohol, sex, food, gambling and/or spending. A typical hallmark symptom is a loss of control, craving and persistent abuse in spite of negative consequences. These consequences can include marital conflict, missing work, poor performance reviews, DWIs, and other legal snarl es. According to Dr. Kevin McCauley from the Institute for Addiction Study, "Addiction meets the standard definition of disease even better than MS and Schizophrenia."

It is not negotiable that people with true addictions learn to manage stress better. In the Smart Zone we talk about making sure you know how to empty your bucket when it gets full. More importantly, we all need to know when our buckets are getting full - when the stress is piling on. For those with addictions, it is mandatory that they be better bucket emptiers. Many people loose the ability to manage their emotions so it is also important that they increase their emotional intelligence so they are more emotionally in sync with themselves.

People who are addicted to whatever can't get by with blaming their addiction on a brain malformation or their genetic history in my opinion. We all now know that addictions can be managed with the proper support and tools to overcome the tendency.

This blog submission is being written with one person in particular in mind. It is for the wife of one of the executives we have worked with in a business outside of Texas. It is to help support the family who is working hard to deal with this thing called addiction that is a source of destruction for a husband, father, son and boss. But I believe that this information can help anyone who suspects that someone they care about, work with, or live with. Even people with addiction can work in the Smart Zone. It is just even more important that they recognize what they need to do for their sake as well as the sake of others.