What a Vacation Will Teach You

I recently returned from a 7 day trip to the Bahamas. Growing up in Florida and now living in a landlocked suburb of Dallas, I often feel like I need to get my feet in the sand. For those of you who have been to the Bahamas, you know that I have just returned from a week in paradise. It got me thinking that I need to be in a beautiful place like that more often. In Working in the Smart Zone, I use a quote. "Go where you feel most like yourself." I know that I feel most like myself when my feet are in the sand and I can hear and smell the ocean.



Here are 5 things that I know for sure after my week in the Bahamas:

1. People who are consistent in their personal lives and in their business lives live the best lives. My family was given the opportunity to spend time on the south side of the island with our good friends the Clines. William Cline is a consulting executive who has spent the last 19 years in the Bahamas working for Stuart Cove, the owner of the third largest dive shop in the world. If you have been watching Discovery Channel's Shark Week, you have seen Stuart's staff and location in more than a few episodes. With up close and personal contact with Stuart and his family I couldn't help but be in awe of their business ethics, their daily management, and their inspirational personalities. The Clines and the Stuarts are successful business owners who understand the Smart Zone Secret. They live it, breathe it, and they are teaching it to their own children. Click here to learn more about the Smart Zone.



2. Vacation time shouldn't be overscheduled. It is just a fact that most people spend time on vacation trying to do it all. While we planned 3 days and 2 nights at Atlantis, we whittled that side trip down so we could have more "sandy shoes time" on the beautiful beach at the condo where we stayed.
   


3. Sometimes it is more fun to just relax. I don't know about you but most of the time it is hard for me to relax on vacation. I have so many thoughts in my head about business, daily life, the next project, and the tasks of being a business owner and a parent that it gets noisy in my head. People know me to be an information sponge. Sitting in a beach chair, no iPod in my ears, no book in my hands, and no laptop on my knees, I know I can get a lot accomplished in the creative side of my brain. Just getting some white space between my ears is so rewarding. I know my staff appreciates when I go on vacation since the noise in my head can sometimes come out of my mouth with a vengeance. When I come back from vacation, the noise in my head is a lot more controlled.
   


4. Be with people you enjoy. We have always enjoyed the Clines. Our boys go to school together and our values are very much the same. After 8 days together, we still love each other. During those 8 days, they also performed an unplanned "intervention" with me as I continue to steer my consulting and clinical businesses forward. While they are my friends, they also possess expertise in human resources and consulting (http://www.williamcline.com/). Their intervention worked. I have some changes ahead that will help me continue to maintain better balance in my professional and personal life.
   


5. Set up systems so your customers and your business can thrive in your absence. The Bahamian Gods did a number on my computer while I was there. Funny thing, I could get every email sent to me but I couldn't email out. No, that wasn't part of the intervention. While I would have only written emails once a day, when it was least intrusive for our vacation, I quickly learned to enjoy seeing the emails showing a stream of productivity while my hands were tied and I was unable to intervene. With systems in place, you can get the time you need to enjoy being off duty. It really is a beautiful thing.

I have made a few more promises to myself. First, we are definitely going back to the Bahamas if the Clines will still have us. Second, I need to go where I feel most like myself more often. Third, my creativity and leadership skills soar when I give myself the downtime. Go where you feel most like yourself, even if it isn't in the Bahamas.

Escalating Your Career by Managing Your Boss

Your relationship with your boss is probably the most important relationship you have at work.

I recently worked with a Sales Manager who was forced to play 20 Questions every time he went to his boss for approval. Sometimes the 20 Questions game would last over an hour and end with a 2-day project before his boss would give him approval. This often meant he couldn't respond to customers in a timely manner and lost business deals. To manage his boss the Sales Manager began thinking through every question his boss could possibly ask and formulating answers. He then began calling his boss and saying, "Here is the situation, here is what I want to do, and here is why we should do it." Miraculously, the 20 Questions game ended!

I think we often look to our boss for what he/she can give us instead of what we can give to him. It's a 2-way street. Put the odds in your favor by managing your boss with the care and sensitivity with which you manage yourself.

Here are 4 Smart Moves for managing your boss:

1. Don't dump problems on your boss. Don't go to your boss with a problem until you've formulated a possible solution. Present both the problem and the solution to your boss simultaneously. Be solution focused. Your boss will be impressed by your ability to resolve your own problem and gain confidence in your abilities. Click here to listen to my recent "Ask the Expert" interview where I describe how to be solution focused.
   


2. Never badmouth your boss. One of the unspoken rules successful people follow is to never talk bad about your boss and particularly not to the company higher-ups - and especially in a job interview. (Quick disclaimer: If there is an issue with your boss that needs the attention of human resources, then pursue it). You may not like a decision your boss makes or the way he treats his staff; however, gossiping about him will not get you points. It will erode the effectiveness of your team and cause dissension within your department. The belief will be: if you bad mouth your boss, you will bad mouth others. People will feel they cannot trust you and higher-ups will view you as a bad seed.
   


3. Use the power of equity. Know what your boss needs and values most and provide it ahead of time, without being asked. I was irritated by my first boss out of college who micromanaged everyone. Once I figured out his main goal was to stay informed on the statistics in my department I began to report them to him ahead of time. It is human nature to feel obligated to those who help us with what we need. It is just as much the employee's responsibility to help make his boss a good leader as it is for the boss to help employees feel valued and successful.
   


4. Compliment your boss. This may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first. I'm not talking about schmoozing, although there is evidence from a University of Michigan study that schmoozers are more likely to get raises over non-schmoozers. When your boss does something well, pay her a sincere compliment like, "You did a nice job running the staff meeting this morning. I appreciated your support." Positive feedback will reinforce the behavior and improve your relationship with your boss.

Just for fun, click here for a recent list of the 15 Great TV Bosses. My favorite is Miranda Bailey from "Grey's Anatomy." From this list of TV bosses it's clear that, like everyone else, your boss is always learning.

I have a Winston Churchill quote framed in my office that says, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Take responsibility for helping your boss succeed and you will both stay in the Smart Zone!

Another Resource Used by Top Producers

I may be one of the last people to know about this but just in case, I am passing another tool to increase productivity on to you. I just got introduced to PhoneTag. PhoneTag (formerly known as Simulscribe) uses advanced technology to convert voicemail to text and deliver it via e-mail and/or text messages.

I frequently need an efficient way to check my voicemails while traveling or going between one meeting to another. Sometimes it is too cumbersome to dial into voicemail, listen and save the voicemail. I'd prefer a text message or email so I already have the information written down and I can access it more easily. PhoneTag has fixed that problem for me.

While I don't care much for their logo on their t-shirt, I do think the service has great benefit. If you want to know more, go to this link http://phonetag.com/about.html and see what you think. We believe it is just another way you can Work in your Smart Zone.

How to Get Along with Others

One of the main reasons people lose their jobs isn't because they can't do the job, it is because they can't get along. Workers who cause a commotion and have difficulty getting along with others create more unproductive work, cost companies excess money, and contribute to low morale. Building a culture where the top performers work best involves a number of components. Here are just a few to look at in yourself and in the culture you create at work:

• Nothing predicts being disliked more than aggression and negative interactions: While we all have bad days, it is important to recognize that being a hothead, even if it is just in response to being mad for an instant, can leave a bad impression. Click here to read our summary of the book Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?
  


• Increase your Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Remember that EQ involves the ability to understand your own emotions and perceive the emotions of others. It is like having a radar so you can read other people and know how to best proceed. In the workplace, a culture of high EQ is more productive. Click here to listen to an interview that I did recently for FIVE STAR SPEAKERS Bureau's "Ask the Expert" program where I discuss EQ.
  


• Be solution oriented rather than problem focused: Instead of asking "why," ask "what" and "how" questions, which will get people talking about the solution.
  


• Know the 4 factors that make a person likeable: Tim Sanders wrote a book called The Likeability Factor. He outlined 4 components of likeability. They are friendliness, your capacity to connect with others, your ability to be empathetic, and realness which is the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity. Chapter 12 in my book Working in the Smart Zone gives more Smart Moves to be likeable at work and home.

Finally, we all can spot likeability when we see it. Recently when the beloved Tim Russert passed away unexpectedly, the celebrations of his life showed how likeable he truly was. The stories about his relationship with his coworkers, his staff, the public who loved him without knowing him personally, even the fact that he waited for the cable man at his son's apartment the day he died show that he was a likeable guy. Almost as impressionable is the legacy of likeability that he left with his son Luke. In case you missed it, click here to watch Luke's memorable interview 3 days after his dad's death.

Careers in Psychology & Counseling Conference

I am excited to have been asked to deliver the keynote presentation for Argosy University's upcoming Careers in Psychology and Counseling Conference in Dallas, Texas on
August 8.

Argosy University has been offering degrees in professional psychology for more than 30 years. Approximately 14% of the nation's masters and doctorates in psychology are granted by Argosy University. And the field of psychology and counseling are ranked in the Top 10 of growing career fields.

The conference will also consist of break out sessions where you will learn about "a day in the life" of the speakers in their respective fields of expertise while developing a deeper understanding of the unique career opportunities available in each area of specialization. Register now for this exciting and informative conference.

See you there!

The Explanation of Addiction

In the corporate world and in our our clinical practice, we find ourselves being told that someone has an "addictive personality". I know it is true and we can spot it as we get to know the players. What we find is that people don't always know what they mean when they say "Addiction" and they use the term loosely even when someone, in my opinion, is just "spirited."

Addiction is often brought on by stress in those people who have a genetic defect in a defined area of the brain. Addictions include drugs, alcohol, sex, food, gambling and/or spending. A typical hallmark symptom is a loss of control, craving and persistent abuse in spite of negative consequences. These consequences can include marital conflict, missing work, poor performance reviews, DWIs, and other legal snarl es. According to Dr. Kevin McCauley from the Institute for Addiction Study, "Addiction meets the standard definition of disease even better than MS and Schizophrenia."

It is not negotiable that people with true addictions learn to manage stress better. In the Smart Zone we talk about making sure you know how to empty your bucket when it gets full. More importantly, we all need to know when our buckets are getting full - when the stress is piling on. For those with addictions, it is mandatory that they be better bucket emptiers. Many people loose the ability to manage their emotions so it is also important that they increase their emotional intelligence so they are more emotionally in sync with themselves.

People who are addicted to whatever can't get by with blaming their addiction on a brain malformation or their genetic history in my opinion. We all now know that addictions can be managed with the proper support and tools to overcome the tendency.

This blog submission is being written with one person in particular in mind. It is for the wife of one of the executives we have worked with in a business outside of Texas. It is to help support the family who is working hard to deal with this thing called addiction that is a source of destruction for a husband, father, son and boss. But I believe that this information can help anyone who suspects that someone they care about, work with, or live with. Even people with addiction can work in the Smart Zone. It is just even more important that they recognize what they need to do for their sake as well as the sake of others.

A Desktop Tool To Increase Productivity

If I have discovered a new tool to keep you in your Smart Zone, wouldn't you want to know about it? Well, my Vistage CEO group introduced me to something that is going to help us manage daily tasks in our office and I am finding myself telling everyone. It is called, DeskAway, and you can learn more about it at www.DeskAway.com. It is a web based application that you can use free for a few projects and a few users. It is a way to have a dashboard for your team where the status of tasks is centralized. One of the best things is that it eliminates those ongoing run on emails that get sent back and forth as you are working on proposals, letters, and other documents that require the input and activities of more than one person. I am looking forward to all the projects we have that can be managed using DeskAway. Try it and let us know whether or not it is keeping you in your Smart Zone.