What Happens in Vegas Shouldn't Stay in Vegas - Especially if You Like Shoes from Zappos

I was in Las Vegas last week and am about to break the "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" pact - again! It was too great a trip not to tell. In between speaking at a conference and a local TV appearance I was able to venture out to the Zappos.com headquarters (Zappos is an awesome online retailer of mainly shoes). Delivering Happiness by Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh is on my NOOK and I was excited to learn that Zappos offers tours and insights as to what makes their culture so unique. Take a look at the picture of the CEO's desk I snapped while there:

Tony Hsieh's Desk (CEO of Zappos)

Working at a desk like Tony's would make me crazy! It seems so unorganized and even has a jar of pickles on it. I really don't like pickles. But his desk is indicative of how Zappos delivers happiness and that's why I believe Zappos is in the Smart Zone.

Tony Hsieh has been an entrepreneur his whole life from his worm farm as a child to his button-making business as a teen. As a young adult he cofounded LinkExchange which he later sold to Microsoft for $265 million. He then went on to grow Zappos to a billion dollar company in just 10 years. (By the way, Zappos got it's name from a twist on the word "zapatos" which is the Spanish word for shoes). He wrote the book Delivering Happiness to reveal his secrets to success and how he found happiness in business.

The Smart Zone is where you work to the best of your ability emotionally, behaviorally and intellectually. Here are a few Smart Moves that Zappos uses to stay in the Smart Zone:

• Delivering WOW: Zappos looks at every phone call, tweet and email as a way to build their brand. Most call centers measure employee performance on how many phone calls each rep can take in a day. Zappos doesn't. Their longest phone call was 6 hours long and their employees are empowered to do what's right for the brand while on the phone.
  
  My favorite story in the book is about the Skechers shoe rep challenging Tony and his partners on the Zappos call center's customer service. After a late night of bar-hopping and hotel room service being closed Tony dared the Skechers rep to call Zappos to try to order a pizza. The Skechers rep took him up on the dare. She called Zappos and explained that she was in a Santa Monica hotel where room service was no longer delivering, she was craving a pepperoni pizza and was there anything Zappos could do about it? Two minutes later the Zappo's rep responded with a list of the five closest pizza places in Santa Monica that were still delivering. This had nothing to do with buying shoes but it had everything to do with delivering WOW!
  
• Paying People to Quit. One of Zappos' core values is to be passionate and determined. Zappos believes so strongly in this that they will pay people to quit! After their 4-week new hire training program every employee is offered $4,000 to quit on the spot if they don't feel the job is right for them. (The amount used to be $2,000 but they recently bumped it to $4,000). My tour guide last week told me about 10% of the people take the offer but Zappos knows it's cheaper in the long run to make sure they have the right people.
  
• Encouraging Employees to Pursue Growth.
  In the Zappos Culture Book employees are asked to grow personally and professionally and to "be a better person today than you were yesterday." Recent Stanford research reveals that a meaningful experience can make you happier than pure pleasure. In an early conversation about the book Good to Great the founders decided it might be a good idea to have a library in their lobby of recommended books to encourage their employees to read. Now there are hundreds of books in the library free for all employees and visitors. You should see the number of books I came home with!
  
• Being humble. This is one of Zappos' core values. Being humble embraces the Smart Zone secret which is to take the focus off yourself. One of the cofounders, Fred, worked in the shoe department at Nordstrom before cofounding Zappos. His experience had been that buyers abused their shoe vendors with disrespect, secrets and squeezing every last dime from them. Zappos changed this by giving their vendors access to the same information as their buyers. This created mutual respect and transformed the relationships to be collaborative in nature instead of adversarial.

If you believe your organization is in the Smart Zone like Zappos, email me and tell me about it!

Please join me on Facebook, too!

Are You Working in the Smart Zone?

I was in Las Vegas last week and am about to break the "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" pact.  My time on The Morning Blend TV show talking with Dao and Shawn was so much fun!  Thought you might enjoy the clip and get a kick out of how I "improvised" with my Bucket Theory of Stress.  You'll see it about 2/3 of the way through the segment.

How Lack of Communication Can Make You Fat

Poor Sophie. At a recent Vet visit we found out our sweet dog Sophie has gained 8 pounds since November! She's a beautiful golden retriever and 8 pounds shows on her. I wish I could blame it on holiday snacking but that's not it. It's our fault!

Here's her glamour shot:

For the last few months I've been filling her food bowl before I leave in the morning. What I didn't realize was that my son was also filling the bowl before he eats breakfast each morning. So Sophie has been eating twice her normal amount for over a month! And, it's made her (I hate to say it) fat!
It boils down to lack of communication between my son and me. We both had good intentions but failed to inform the other person. Our lack of communication has made Sophie fat.

In his book, The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey says,

"While we tend to judge ourselves by our intent,

we tend to judge others by their behavior."

In my case, both my son and I intended to feed the dog but our behavior made it look like we wanted to make her fat.

Isn't this true with people we work with also? We perceive someone as a slacker because he doesn't arrive at work until 9:00 AM - when actually he was up until midnight working from his home office. Or your new boss can't articulate the vision of the company since the merger so you perceive him as incompetent.

People in the Smart Zone have the ability to manage their perceptions using the following Smart Moves:

Stop defending your intentions. When the Vet told me I was feeding Sophie too much food my first response was, "No, I'm not." I was defending my intentions. I didn't get it. The more I defended my intentions instead of accepting his perception of my behavior, the more guilty I looked. It is easy to keep defending your intentions but it can be at the expense of productivity, efficiency, and likeability.

Anticipate what others will think. Consider the following misperceptions given to me by leaders who attended a recent workshop of mine:

• Working longer hours means you are more productive
• Asking for help is a sign of weakness
• I must toot my own horn to get noticed and survive in this company
• Sharing what I know with coworkers makes me less valuable
• The loudest voice is always right
• Only certain people are capable of specific tasks
• Leaders have all the answers

When delivering a message or presentation consider how the listeners will perceive what you say given who they are, what they care about and what their job description includes. Anticipate what others will think so you can minimize chances of misperception by covering questionable territory ahead of time. And remember what not to put in an email.

Manage the Rumor Mill. When perception is not managed it becomes a rumor, then gossip, and then an unintended reality. So nip it in the bud. Make sure you keep in mind these 6 things you should never say at work.

Money Doesn't Talk. Many companies perceive that giving employees more money makes them happier but most HR surveys report that "feeling appreciated and informed" are ranked higher than compensation by employees. In his book, Delivering Happiness, Tony Hsieh (CEO of Zappos) says that ultimately what matters to people is passion, growth and a higher purpose. I loved watching this Zappos blog video of a Monday morning.

The organization can't function without you - or can it? Your organization will survive even when someone with perceived value gets promoted or laid off. BUT, wouldn't it be nice for you to be the one people perceive the team can't live without? And not because you are the only person who knows the "secret sauce" recipe. Your character determines your success just as much as your technical ability. Character qualities like determination, compassion, loyalty, punctuality, honesty and responsibility make you invaluable (click here for a list of 49 character qualities).

Proceed with caution. Good leaders are able to size up the strengths and weaknesses of others quickly. The danger is that you will judge others and become overly critical of what you perceive to be their shortcomings without giving them a fair chance.

How to Celebrate National Thank You Month

I was surprised who was appearing on the FOX 4 Good Day TV Show last week prior to me. Do you remember Rob Schneider from Saturday Night Live? He did the skit where he said, "Steve-O, makin' some copies" and he's been in a lot of funny movies.

He's really not as short as he looks in this picture - my son Alex is really tall!



FOX 4 asked me to do a segment on "How to Put the Attitude of Gratitude into Action at Work and Home." (Click here to watch the segment). While we were setting up the props we ran into Rob Schneider. One way to express gratitude is to smile and make someone laugh - which is what Rob is good at!

Thank you Rob for making me laugh!

January is National Thank You Month. Gratitude, or saying "Thank You," has been called one of the 3 most important virtues along with compassion and forgiveness. People in the Smart Zone know how to show gratitude.

Here are Smart Moves for how to say thank you to the people you see every day:

• Teachers: Teachers often hear parental complaints instead of our praise. Send a note or email to your kid's teacher thanking her/him for the work she does. Or better yet, brag about how much you love her to the school principal.


• Boss: Bosses, like teachers, often hear more complaints than compliments. When your boss does something well, pay her a sincere compliment like, "You did a nice job running the staff meeting this morning. I appreciated your support." Better yet, thank your boss for a job well done in front of others. This is a really nice confidence booster and won't be forgotten.


• Coworkers: Bring bagels or donuts to your weekly staff meeting for coworkers. Or surprise a co-worker when you go on a Starbucks run by bringing a coffee back for him.


• Employees: Remember birthdays. Remembering some one's birthday makes them feel special and appreciated - it says "thank you for being you." We celebrate birthdays in my office and I'll never forget a new employee I had that didn't know this. She was so surprised on her birthday and it meant so much that she still brings it up. Decorate their inbox or cubicle. That is always a way to make someone feel special.


• Kids: Call or set them aside for a minute just to tell them thank you. Be specific about what you are thanking them for and how it made you feel. Taking out the trash at my house is a huge job - I have 3 boys. When I got home from work recently the trash was already sitting out in the alley for the following morning because my son was staying overnight at a friend's house. I called him just to tell him thank you. He couldn't believe it!


• Parents: Did you enjoy a recent get-together with family? Possibly over the holidays? Frame a fun photo from the event and give it to your parents.


• Waiter: Get the waiter off topic during your initial conversation. It can be so repetitious being a waiter so make his/her day more fun by being more conversational, which doesn't always mean more personal. Also, let the waiter know if you want separate checks first thing and leave when you are through eating so your waiter's table can open up for another tipping customer. And of course, TIP.


• Mailman: Wave and talk to the mail man when you have a chance and, better yet, keep the area in front of your mailbox clear of cars, snow and trash cans.


• Grocery store cashier: Greet and smile at the cashier when it's your turn. Stay off your cell phone. If you see the groceries piling up then be willing to bag the groceries yourself. Partially writing out your check while the cashier is scanning also shows you appreciate your cashier's time.


• Dry Cleaner: My dry cleaner has a candy dish and fresh flowers on the container. By just noticing these small things and acknowledging how pretty the flowers are I am thanking them for their extra effort to brighten my day!


• Pets: My dog Sophie loves treats and walking around the neighborhood. If you have a dog-friendly pet you can even visit some of the dog parks for a play date. If you are taking care of someone's dog, write a letter from the dog for the owners to receive when they get back from vacation. It is a nice way to set someone at ease who leaves their prized possession in your care. It is also a nice way to say "thank you for trusting me."

What can you notice about people you see each day? Be creative in who and how you thank people. Get to know people well enough to know what they like - you don't have to be nosy or spend a lot of money. My favorite way to be thanked is with a Diet Coke from Sonic!

Stay in the Smart Zone by thanking someone this month!

Why I Hate New Year's Resolutions

I love Diet Coke. A few years ago my New Year's resolution was to give up Diet Coke. Shortly after that I decided my future New Year's resolutions would focus on a positive change rather than giving something up. So I changed my resolution to "I will drink more water." But I still love Diet Coke and still drink it occasionally. If I start drinking it too much it's easy to pull back and drink more water.

If you have already started making New Year's Resolutions please don't stop. However, here are a few reasons why I hate them:

• 12 months is too long. Scientific research says that smaller, short-term goals that can be readily achieved are better than big, long-term goals. Big, lofty goals that are hard to achieve can actually discourage us instead of motivate us. In my case, my resolution should be to drink water instead of Diet Coke for 1 week.


• Everyone is doing it. The gym is packed. I had to wait in line for a treadmill this week for the first time since last January. By February the gym crowd will drop down to a normal level. If we make too many resolutions all at once and for the wrong reasons (like because everyone is doing it) then it can have a negative effect on our motivation and success.


• It gives you an excuse to procrastinate. In November you should really eat well and stick to a budget but we end up eating and spending throughout the holidays with the justification that we'll do better beginning in January. People who pick up a cigarette again in March justify smoking the remainder of the year and then set the New Year's resolution once more for the next year. New Year's resolutions can become a delay tactic for making timely changes in your life.


• January is the worst time to start your New Year's resolutions. Making major changes when you are tired from a busy holiday season instead of resting may mean you don't have the energy to make them work. The holiday bills will start rolling in soon and it can be a time of anxiety and discouragement.


• January shouldn't be so special. My Director of Client Relations who books me to speak, Zan Jones, disagrees with this statement because her birthday is this month (Happy Birthday Zan-a-Do!). Every day you wake up should be new day. Ask yourself, "What can I do today that will help me achieve my goal." Goals should be made throughout the year. Change and update what you want to achieve after every success and failure.

To stay in the Smart Zone this year don't make any resolutions. Instead take your most important goal, decide what you can do this very minute and work towards it. Enjoy the clean slate that comes with the New Year and do the best you can each and every day.

Happy New Year!

Top 8 Ways to Determine if You are a Scrooge

I've had changes in my personal life this year and, if I wanted, I could figure out a way to be the ultimate Scrooge. But my Smart Zone thinking allows me to see that I'm so delightfully happy and that life is full of opportunities everywhere. I've weathered this year and it's ending with a lot to look forward to in 2011. One of my children just got accepted into an incredible school for children with learning differences. My three boys and I have adjusted to living in our home with just the four of us. My professional projects, media and clinical practice are going well. I'm surrounded by the support of valuable family and friends.

Stay in the Smart Zone this month by not being a Scrooge.

The Top 8 Ways to Determine if You are a Scrooge:

1. You count calories or Weight Watchers points out loud while eating holiday snacks. It's good to watch your caloric intake this time of year. If you watched my How to Avoid the Holiday Blues TV segment on FOX 4 recently you saw me say that nutrition experts believe that holiday depression can be caused by the high sugar and fatty foods we eat around the holidays. But, if you see me eating a Santa cookie please let me eat it in peace.


2. You complain about the company Christmas party. If you are one of the lucky people whose company is throwing a holiday party then be grateful for their generosity.


3. You feel so overwhelmed with everything you have to get done that you are angry at people who seem to be taking it in stride. This is the worst kind of Scrooge because anger like this is internalized and causes you to continue to focus on yourself. This inward focus can easily lead to depression.


4. You slack off at your job because the end of the year is near. After all, other people are on vacation so why should you have to work? This is the best time to get things done because there will be less interruptions. Use this time to be more productive.


5. You talk about how you don't have much money for Christmas presents in front of people you will be buying for. This is especially Scrooge-worthy when done in front of your kids. If a child is old enough, he/she will feel guilty for the gifts his parents give him. If you want to know how to talk to your kids about gift-giving when you are tight on cash, read my blog post "How to Talk to Your Kids about Gift Giving in this Tough Economy."


6. You haven't participated in any holiday volunteer activities or donated to any charities. Many of you already know the Smart Zone secret which is to take the focus off yourself. In the Smart Zone Survey many of you took last month you finished this statement, "The greatest joy in my life is _____." The response "Volunteering and helping others" was in the top 10 responses. I have a fellow red headed friend I adore and hang out with often. She has a habit of paying the tab for another table in a restaurant. She recently did that for our elementary school's counselor and her family when she saw them eating out last week. It gives her such a sense of satisfaction to be a "secret Santa" for people she appreciates and for total strangers. She's one of my closest friends because of her big heart and for other reasons too (our boys look alike and are best buddies).


7. If you buy house cleaning items like a vacuum cleaner, a mop or a toilet plunger for Christmas gifts - you might be a Scrooge. This is a little tongue-in-cheek but I know many of you can relate to this one. Even though I might need a new garden hose or screens for two of my back windows, something that is more personalized that shows you know someone's taste and interests is more personal and celebrates your relationship this time of year.


8. You are reading this list and thinking, "What's wrong with that?!" Need I say more?
   

Don't Let November become "Low-Vember" - How to Avoid the Holiday Blues

When I was growing up in Clearwater, Florida I had this vision of how Thanksgiving should be: A happy family sitting around the table for a big lunch and then heading to the beach with siblings and cousins in the afternoon while the guys stayed home to watch Gator football. We all have a story in our head of how life is supposed to be and when that story doesn't occur it causes sadness and depression. (Kind of like the recently fired Dallas Cowboys football coach, Wade Phillips, may feel this Thanksgiving).

Surprisingly, 2/3 of us will experience depression around Thanksgiving and the holidays. That's a lot of bummed out people! I talked about this subject recently on the FOX 4 Good Day TV show.

For those of you who recently completed the survey in my last electronic newsletter you answered the question, "My constant worry is ____." Your top answers were:

#1: Finances, having enough money, being able to retire
#2: Kids
#3: Nothing (These people are definitely in the Smart Zone!)
#4: Health
#5: Career/Job

If you haven't taken the survey yet, we would love for your answers to be included. Please click here to take it. It only takes 3 minutes and it's critical research for my next book.

These worries become more magnified as we enter the holiday season. We can all feel blue but the symptoms of depression that require professional intervention include:

• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
• Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
• Restlessness, irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain.
• In the extreme: thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts. Click here for a list of suicide facts.

Experiencing one of these symptoms does not necessarily mean that you are clinically depressed. Rather, it's a combination of these symptoms that warrants professional attention. Use these Smart Moves to stay in the Smart Zone and stay out of Low-Vember:

• Scale back. On the survey you took a few weeks ago many of you reported your constant worry is "getting everything done." We can all relate to this, especially now. Scale back the holiday decorating. Ask holiday guests to bring a dish so you aren't cooking it all. Use instant mashed potatoes (I like them better anyway).
• Do not be alone. I know many people enjoy alone time but if you are prone to holiday depression you should spend time with other people during this time. Volunteering is a great way to spend time with others. This is a season where many people are in need and helping others will cheer you up.
• Realize that being edgy is a sign of depression. Agitation and irritability are signs of depression. If you feel edgy take conscious steps to minimize your stress.
• Stay away from alcohol. This time of year it can be free flowing. Alcohol is a depressant. You may feel good for a little while but alcohol will leave you feeling tired and bummed out.
• Take care of yourself. If you are healthy and feel good it makes the holidays better for everyone. Exercise, even if it's just walking the dogs, is one of the best mood boosters.
• Watch what you eat. I hate this one but nutritional experts believe that depression is caused by the excessive sugar and fatty foods consumed over the holidays. I'm going to have to really work on this one. My friends are all great cooks.
• Music can affect your mood. Use it to soothe your feelings and emotions. Steer clear of the sound track from Titanic and stick with uplifting music. I feel cheered up when listening to 80's music because it reminds me of high school and a care free time in my life. I'm starting to list my favorites on iTunes. Watch for my list in my next newsletter. What are your favorites? I'd love to know! Email me and let me know.

Even though my Thanksgiving doesn't look like my childhood vision I've found new ways over the years to spend time with good friends and family. And I still watch Gator football! Just for fun, watch this hilarious family gathering on Modern Family that didn't go as planned.