Every office usually has one: a Drama Queen
or King. He or she can get everyone stirred up at the simplest of events and is
successful at creating drama. In my private practice I call this "Mental
Theater."
Mental theater is when we create drama in
our heads so that it seems an event actually happened. Here are examples of
destructive forms of mental theater:
- A manager
perceives that his boss is upset with him because he doesn't make eye
contact with him while they are talking. So the manager proceeds to relate
to his boss as if there really is a disagreement.
- An assistant
believes that a co-worker who is whispering is talking about her behind
her back. The assistant then becomes hostile as if there has been a
breach of trust.
- A husband
believes that his wife is having an affair because she is too friendly
with the attractive gentleman next door. He then begins to treat her
as if she's been unfaithful.
When we only have part of the story, we
tend to fill in other parts. It's like putting a puzzle together and when
you get stumped you pick up the box to see the picture so you can figure out
where the pieces go. But what if you only have half the picture?
It's like having half the story.
Ask yourself these 4 questions to work in
the Smart Zone and course
correct negative drama that can get out of hand.
- Is my thinking based on fact?
- Does my thinking help me achieve my
goal?
- Does my thinking help me feel the way
I want to feel?
- How can I change my mental theater to
create a win-win situation?
Keep in mind that YOU are in charge of your
own mental theater. When you have only part of a story resist the urge to fill
in the blanks. Or use mental theater to your advantage by visualizing your
success and filling in the blanks with a positive outcome. Chapter 8 of my
book, Working in the Smart Zone,
expands on this topic if you would like to learn more.
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