Family Violence Can Hurt Your Business

Thursday, July 9, 2009
8:00 AM Training & Breakfast

WHAT: A breakfast & training to introduce employers & management professionals
WHEN: Thursday, July 9, 2009
TIME: 8:00 am - 9:00 am
WHERE: Children's Medical Center Legacy, 7601 Preston Road, Plano, TX 75024 in north Plano at Legacy and Hedgcoxe Drives
WHO: Individuals in senior leadership, human resources, security/safety, legal and risk management
COST: No charge
RSVP: Junior League of Plano, (972) 769-0557 or email jlplano@verizon.net

Last year a CEO pulled me aside after I spoke to his executives about Working in the Smart Zone. He wanted privacy because he said that he had something "sensitive" to talk with me about. He had a dilemma. He strongly suspected that one of his female executives had a home life that included family violence. She had missed work, been less engaged, and he had seen unexplainable bruises on her body. He wanted to help her but didn't know how and didn't know his place. This CEO is one that asked questions and sought out help. (Click here for what to do if you work with someone experiencing domestic violence.) I worked with him and followed up to help him connect with the resources he needed. Are you a manager or business owner with the same suspicions? If not now, you very likely will have a similar dilemma in the future.

Every year, domestic violence contributes an estimated $5 to $10 billion in losses to companies and businesses around the country. The effects of stalking, physical assault, rape, and homicide are directly related to employee absenteeism, diminished job performance, and lower job morale.

If you live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, consider sending someone Thursday, July 9 to a training to introduce employers and management professionals to the Family Violence in the Workplace Program. The program is provided free-of-charge to businesses. You will walk away with a complimentary Family Violence in the Workplace toolkit to implement the program in your company. The program will last one hour.

Sponsored by the Collin County Council on Family Violence, this overview of the Family Violence Prevention Program is recommended for individuals in senior leadership, human resources, security/safety, legal and risk management. This breakfast meeting will increase awareness of the effects of domestic violence as well as educate employers and management professionals on the most effective preventative measures.

How to Work Smarter in a Crisis

Confession time! Last month I left out some information about my Fox 4 TV segment on happiness. During the interview I got thrown off guard and had to keep Working in my own Smart Zone! I thought I would be presenting the top 10 happiest (and unhappiest) jobs based on a recent University of Chicago study, but Tim, the anchor man, had another set of bullet points on his script. Five seconds before the stage manager began counting, "5-4-3-2-1" Tim showed me the bullet points he was prepared to discuss. A deer in headlights is a good description of my face at that point. My mind shifted into crisis mode.

We all have times when we shift into crisis mode. It happens when your car won't start, a tough deadline at work gets pushed up, your company is about to lose a huge customer, an employee you're depending on quits or an OSHA inspector shows up unannounced. By staying in the Smart Zone you can get through a crisis mode and come out better for it.

During a crisis our brain falls back on simple, sometimes primitive, responses and puts aside complex thought. All focus is on the urgent present crisis. Many say that the economy falls into this category. But a crisis can be small - it can be a slip up in a conversation or forgetting an important appointment. Or, it can just be when what you intend to say doesn't come out of your mouth the right way. Click here to see how this can happen.

A crisis will bring to light shortcomings and will also help us prepare for future improvement. Once a crisis is over, our problem solving can turn a crisis into improved standards, improved conditions, improved safety and can be, overall, one of the best opportunities for improvement.

Here's how to stay in the Smart Zone during a crisis and turn a crisis into an advantage.

• Know your anchor. In other words, know your expertise. In my case, I was doing a TV segment in my field of expertise so technically no question should throw me off. When I was straight out of college I could get intimated by older, more experienced people. But as a therapist, I had to understand that this was my expertise. Even though I might not know as much as my patients knew about other things in life, I definitely knew more than they did about proper therapeutic treatments.
  
• Make a wrong right. When a mistake is made, admit it instead of covering it up. Trust is built when you are honest and accept responsibility to make it right. Blaming others, not responding, and refusing to take responsibility create a lack of trust and discredits you. Everyone makes mistakes. It is how you respond when a mistake is made that makes the difference.
  
• Don't kill the 10 Minute Oil Change Guy. Have you ever seen someone throwing a hissy fit at Minute Lube because his car isn't ready? I call this an exaggerated response. When we have too much stress our stress hormones kick in causing a small hassle to suddenly be overwhelming. Learn to recognize when your stress level is getting high and discipline yourself to eliminate it. You could exercise, go shopping, get more sleep, read a book, surf the internet, call a coworker or friend or leave the office for lunch.
  
• Figure out what you are working for. A crisis heightens our awareness and brings to light what really matters to you, your company, and the services you provide. We learn what we are willing to fight for, who to say "No" to (click here to see my quote about when to say "No" to your boss), who we trust and who trusts us and what is valuable to us.
  
• A continual crisis is abnormal. Some people seem to feed off a crisis almost like an adrenaline junkie. They may subconsciously create crises and chaos for themselves and those around them. People who grow up in chaotic surroundings, such as with an alcoholic parent, believe that crises are the norm. If a member of your team exhibits this behavior he/she might benefit from professional help. Click here to watch this CNN special report about people seeking professional counseling to help deal with the current economic crisis. Anxiety is something we can help you with in my clinical practice. Or click here for ways to find a psychologist outside of the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
• Be solution oriented. When faced with a crisis don't focus on the problem by saying, "Why did this happen? Why did I make this mistake?" Instead use "how" and "what" statements like "How can we respond to this issue?" and "What can we do to minimize the damage from this situation?"
  

My Radio Interview on KWRD 100.7 FM

North Texas Kids is a free publication where I live that serves as a guide to raising healthy, happy kids. I love it because I have 3 boys and am always picking up great ideas from it. North Texas Kids publisher, Dr. Minette Riordan, hosts a weekly radio show on KWRD 100.7FM in Dallas/Fort Worth. Last week she interviewed me on her show. Click here to listen to the podcast. We talk about ways to work in the Smart Zone in your personal and professional life.

Stick a Fork in Me - I'm Done!

Many of you know my Director of Client Relations, Zan Jones. Zan has a good friend who just went through her second round of chemo. Thankfully she is doing as well as possible. I can see the pain on Zan's face when she gives me updates about her friend. Do you have friends or family going through tough times - like a health crisis or financial difficulty? If so, you may be empathizing so much that you risk taking on the pain and suffering that your friends feel.

If you work in patient care, social services, the court system or law enforcement, then you likely experience the pain and suffering of others every day. People who use empathy in their work daily are at risk of having the effects of burnout affect their professional and personal life.

When we listen to stories of fear, pain and suffering of others we likely can leave the Smart Zone due to what is sometimes referred to Compassion Fatigue. Compassion Fatigue is also thought of as Secondary Post Traumatic Stress. Once Compassion Fatigue sets in, the pain of others takes up your mental energy and eventually everything in your life can go dull. It could seem like nothing is fun anymore and you would feel burned out. If you'd like to see me discuss ways to add happiness to your life, click here to see my FOX 4 appearance from last week.

How do you know if you are suffering from Compassion Fatigue?

• Mistakes go up and job performance goes down.


• You can't stop thinking about your job or the problems of others.


• Trouble sleeping.


• General feeling of weariness.


• You don't feel like doing anything - you feel blah.


• You feel less satisfied, less energetic and less efficient.

Use these Smart Moves to cope with Compassion Fatigue:

• Increase your EQ (Emotional Intelligence): EQ is the ability to use your emotions effectively and understand the emotions of others. Recognizing how others perceive you and the affect you have on others will help you identify burn out symptoms early.


• Exercise: You may feel like you just don't have time to exercise. The body and mind benefits of exercise will make you more productive and are worth every minute. Click here to watch how Dr. Doug Ross (George Clooney) on ER used exercise to cope with compassion fatigue.


• Maintain a personal life even if you don't feel like it. You may tend to eliminate the very things that will revitalize you like family dinners, eating lunch out, prayer and meditation and time with friends. Spend time with supportive people.
  
• Have a sense of humor. People in stressful jobs, like 911 operators, may often have a wicked sense of humor - but it's still a sense of humor. When people who work with them recognize they are joking around less then it's a sign it's time for a break. Just for fun, watch this funny "stupid pet trick" on the Late Show with David Letterman.


• Set limits between work and home activities. Easier said than done, I know. Don't play nurse or therapist in personal relationships.


• Broaden your network. Get involved in professional or social organizations where like-minded people meet and discuss events and mutual problems. I recently spoke at a Child Abuse Awareness Conference put on by CITY House (Collin Intervention to Youth, Inc.) Click here to find out how you or your company can be recognized while helping youth in crisis.

The Smart Zone in the News

A few posts ago I blogged about how to open the door to happiness in your life. The local FOX 4 Good Day show caught wind of it and asked to me to talk about in on the air. Watch it below or click here to watch it.

I was also able to share ways the Smart Zone can help you stay motivated today on the radio show Motivational Minds Radio. Click here to listen to my interview with Justin Sachs, author of Your Mailbox is Full and business consultant to Anthony Robbins and Mark Victor Hansen.

A Story of Inspiration Can Keep You in the Smart Zone

Wow! Were you inspired by Susan Boyle's performance on Britain's Got Talent? If you haven't seen the footage yet (or want to see it just one more time) click here to watch it. I enjoy being inspired by people I meet. I have spent more time talking with people who are considering reinventing themselves because of layoffs, changes in their organization, or because they are ready for a change. We all have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves. Recently, during my second appearance at a Presidents' weekend for a successful bank in Texas, I met a woman whose story is one of inspiration. Her name is Tina Solis.


Tina was born and raised in Mexico and moved to the United States when she was 12. Her family lived in poverty. As Tina says, "We didn't have TV, bikes or toys. We made our own baseballs out of tape and played with that. When I first came to the United States I started helping my mother clean houses. Somewhere along the way I decided I could do better - I could do more."

Robert Gandy, III (Bank CEO), Tina Solis and Me

Tina was ready to re-enter the job market after staying home to raise her young children. She always wanted to be a teller. I asked her why. She wasn't sure. She just knew it was in her gut. After A LOT of persistence she was given an opportunity at a local branch of a bank in Texas. That was 20 years ago. She still works for that bank and over time, moved up to become a Branch Manager and President of the First National Bank, Rogers Branch. As I enjoyed her company during dinner at the Presidents' event, I heard a number of Smart Moves from Tina and thought I would pass them along as all of us look to keep Working in the Smart Zone:

• Find a way to do what you are asked to do: I listened to Tina tell how she would learn as much as she could when she found there were gaps in her knowledge. Initially Tina knew her English speaking needed to be improved. She "studied" at night to be the best at what she was asked to do. When I asked her what motivated her. It wasn't money. It was her thirst for knowledge.



• Don't downplay your achievements. Tina did not have any banking experience which was a big roadblock. She did the best she could with the resources she had. Click here to read my feature story in the May issue of Plano Profile where I talk about this topic. When Tina finally was able to talk to a bank representative about hiring her she told him about how valuable she would be as an employee. In Tina's words, "I told him I had experience working with money at a grocery store as a cashier. I had experience managing all of the cashiers. I am a hard worker and will make this my career. I am a loyal person and will be here for the long term."



• Be helpful to everyone. Tina was so hungry to learn that she quickly intimidated her coworkers with her work ethic. Some people were even hostile to her. Tina told me, "I learned things really fast and was always asking for more work to do. I wanted to learn how to do extra reports and eventually was promoted to team leader." Tina didn't use her knowledge as a weapon - she was always glad to teach what she knew to her coworkers and managers. She didn't brag about everything she knew. Instead, she was humble about it.



• "Be a star," is what Tina tells people. "Do what it takes to be the best you can be." When Tina was asked to be a branch president she was so nervous about it that "I wanted to say 'no' at first. But then I talked to my family and started training in the areas I was nervous about."

Chapter 10 of my book, Working in the Smart Zone, lists characteristics of optimists. Optimists are persistent in achieving goals in spite of setbacks and they are hopeful for success in daily work. Tina told me that she sometimes finds herself getting out of the Smart Zone and then she works really hard to find her way back. I am inspired by Tina's work ethic and humble spirit. Tina makes me want to be a star!

Lessons from a Flea: How to be an Engaged Employee

A few years back I had an employee that was totally NOT engaged in his job. He would drag into work, wait to be told what to do and then half-way complete his work while not paying attention to any details. He had no "fire" or passion. No pride or ownership in his work. It wore me out!! At first I thought it was my fault - but then I realized he had to take responsibility for the job he was hired to do.

Engaged employees are those who have passion for their work and the organization they work for. The online shoe company Zappos takes this concept so seriously that they offer new employees $2,000 to quit after the first month of training. Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh says, "We want people to be here because they are passionate about customer service and because they like our culture...not just here for the paycheck." In the long run the company feels the $2,000 buyout is cheaper. Wow!

In his book, The Daily Drucker, Peter Drucker states, "Fleas can jump many times their own height, but not elephants." In other words, the smaller the entity, the greater the potential for achievement of gigantic proportion. Now, I'm not calling you a flea or suggesting that your organization has fleas! What I am saying is that you, as an engaged employee, can have enormous impact on your organization. In today's economy it's up to you be as valuable to your employer as possible.

Are you an engaged employee? Do you think the people in your organization are giving it their all? Do you think employees in your company feel appreciated and look forward to coming to work each day? If you answered "No" to any of these questions then your company could be missing out on 40% more profitability, 50% lower turnover and 56% more loyal customers.

If you watch the Celebrity Apprentice you saw what a not-so-engaged employee looks like when Joan Rivers fought with Clint Black. Click here to watch it.

Organizations in the Smart Zone have engaged employees and leaders. Here are some tips to help you and your organization become more engaged.

• Be a "Can Do" person. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, focus on what you can do. Be action oriented. Many times people don't take action because of their belief that they aren't worth much. Our beliefs affect the way we feel, which affects the way we think, which affects the way we act. So the next time a co-worker asks you to help organize a customer appreciation day, instead of saying, "No, I can't do that," say, "What I can do is coordinate the customer invitations."


• Get to know people. Learn what excites your employees, co-workers and customers. What are their goals? What stresses them out? How do they define success? (Just for fun watch how Michael Scott of the TV show The Office defines success). I don't suggest prying too deeply into a personal conversation. Just show an appropriate and genuine interest in those with whom you work and their well-being.


• Use meaningful rewards and recognition. An employee appreciation golf outing on a Saturday might not feel rewarding to a single parent who has young children. Also, recognize efforts and accomplishments of those working on long-term projects to give them a boost towards achieving their goal.


• Say "bye bye" to blame. The process of blaming and figuring out who to blame is a time waster. Mistakes should be acceptable and encouraged. Mistakes show that action was being sought. We can't all hit the bulls-eye every time. When things go wrong ask "what" and "how" questions like, "What can we do in the future?" or "How can we change what has happened?"

By the way, I call an employee who is not engaged "disengaged." But what do you call a person who is not in the Smart Zone? We have been trying to come up with a name for someone who is out of the Smart Zone and want your input. Please email us with your ideas!!